O Community, We Hardly Knew Ye

So I just heard that Community got cancelled.

You know what? Fine. We all saw it coming anyways. We've seen it coming since season 3. And season 4 was just a total disaster without Dan Harmon, and I'm not just saying that in a "We should all worship Dan Harmon" type way - I mean, who is he, Joss Whedon? -  it's just that everything was noticeably off.

And then season 5 comes around. Harmon's rehired. And I only got around to watching the first two episodes of season 5 (I've been meaning to watch more) but both those episodes were absolutely hilarious and awesome and great. Abed's Nicolas Cage freak-out is one of the best things I've ever seen.

And season 5 is funny and awesome and the fans are back on board and lovin' it.

And then they cancel it.

Again, we've all seen this coming from the start. But first of all, this was terrible timing, it's like euthanizing someone after they recover from the sickness, and second of all, THEY ALL KNEW ABOUT THE SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE HASHTAG. EVERYONE KNEW ABOUT IT. IT WAS IN THE FINAL SCREEN OF "INTRODUCTION TO FINALITY".

SO THEY CANCEL THE SHOW RIGHT BEFORE THE SIXTH SEASON?!?!?!

For those who don't know, the resounding call to keep Community on the air has had many tunes, from Greendale is where I belong, to Happy October 19th, but the most prominent one is, of course, six seasons and a movie. Deriving from this clip as Abed expresses his love for The Cape:

it is now known as the call to express love for Community. To the point where, had we actually made it to six seasons, Harmon would have practically been obligated to make a movie.

But we didn't. NBC couldn't even give us that small victory.

So farewell Community. Me,  my Community T-shirt, my Troy and Abed in the Morning mug and all seven of my little Christmas Community figurines will all miss you greatly.

*sniffle sniffle*

Favourite Thing of the Week #9

So this is a thing that exists.

It's far from perfect, but this was a lot of effort that was put into a fan-made Youtube video - you can tell by the actual decent vampire makeup because rest assured, that isn't easy to do. And also everything about this just screams awesome.

That is all.

So I just watched "Smile Time"

And it is legit the best thing I've ever seen.

Evil muppets.

Angel is a muppet.

Spike fights Angel the muppet.

!@#$ING FRED AND WESLEY

I LITERALLY FINISHED WATCHING THIS LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO AND IT'S CURRENTLY MY FAVOURITE THING EVER

I LAUGHED SO HARD AND THEN I HAD FEELINGS AND I LAUGHED SOME MORE AND THEN I GOT CREEPED OUT AND THEN I LAUGHED AND THEN I HAD FEELINGS

PERFECTION

Buffy on a Rewatch: The Pack (S1E06)

I'm going to get this out of the way super quick: I really really really LOVE this episode. I just think it's so good. It's fun, but relatable, and just dark and snarky enough. This is kind of an unusual opinion, I think, but that's the truth. I really love this episode. Fact, when I think back, this was the first episode of Buffy that really got me into it.

But, this episode is far from flawless. There's some pretty risky stuff in it. And, I think that's part of why I love it so much. There are some things on Buffy that I am quick to really not like because of its flaws, like, well, most of season 6. But there are some other things that I love in spite of the flaws, sometimes because of the flaws, like, well, most of season 7. This is one of those things.

Summary: School field trip to the zoo. We meet a bunch of mean kids. They start bullying a kid, and eventually drag him into the area for the hyenas, which has been cordoned off. Xander decides he's going to go be the big hero (almost certainly as a way to impress Buffy), and follows them in, but when Buffy and Willow try to follow after him they're cut off by a zoo employee who explains they've quarantined the hyenas, so don't go in there. Even if they call your name. Um.

Long story short, the mean kids and Xander end up getting possessed by hyena spirits. At first this just seems to manifest itself as acting weirdly - with the hair sniffing and the general being a dick and the laughing, dear god, the laughing. But it starts becoming more and more primal as it continues, until eventually the hyena-possessed kids eat a live pig. And then, as Xander is, as Buffy puts it, "trying his hand at felony sexual assault", the other kids are eating their principal. So those are things that happen.

Eventually they figure out that the zookeeper who quarantined the hyenas in the first place must have known about them, so they seek him out and try to figure out a way to exorcise the hyenas from the people. They come up with a plan, so Buffy goes to lead the hyenas to the zoo while Giles and Willow and Mr Zookeeper Guy get the place ready. Except it turns out that the whole reason that the kids got possessed by the hyena demon was because the Mr Zookeeper Guy left his tribal paint on the floor when he was trying to get possessed by hyenas. So Mr Zookeeper Guy becomes Mr Evil Zookeeper Guy, knocks out Giles, puts a knife to Willow's throat, and gets the hyena spirits into him. Then he gets pushed into a pit full of hungry hyenas and dies.

Yeah, it's dark and weird, and in some ways kinda goofy, but I just really like it. This might be one of those things where sometimes episodes just speak to people and no one else gets it - I know someone adores the episode No Place Like Home, which I didn't find to be particularly memorable - but I dunno. I just really like it, I think it's really well done. There are some fun moments...

Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?

Buffy: Uh huh.

Giles: And there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanour?

Buffy: Yes.

Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles. 

Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?

Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen year old boy. Of course you'll have to kill him. 

and some sad moments, like when Xander starts being a total asshole to everyone, especially Willow, who's utterly in love with him. And the scary moments like uh, let me think, when they eat Principal Flutie. Because *shudder*.

And whenever I've seen everything about this episode, all anyone ever talks about is the thematic thing, it's a metaphor for bullying. Of course it is. But there's more to it than that. Because, how I read it in any case, it's not just a metaphor for bullying. It's that time, often taking place in high school, where you don't really know who your friends are anymore. The fact that Xander becomes this jerk ass-face who openly bullies Willow for the sake of popularity (under the influence of the hyena, of course), to me, it was speaking about that awful time when the friend group seems to be falling apart, and you're not sure who's there for you anymore. (What's that, you say, personal connections? Where?) What can I say, high school is hell. Or, alternatively, on a hellmouth.

Also, I think this is the first and last time we really see Xander go dark. Don't get me wrong, Xander has some pretty dark moments through the series - I'm not going to bring them all up, but trust me, everyone has dark moments on this show - but this is the only time we see Xander go full darkness (which, for the purposes of this thing, I will define as, "Knowingly attempting or committing acts that will have long-lasting and/or destructive, serious consequences, and not caring"). All the main characters save Buffy go full darkness at some point or another, but I find Xander's to be one of the most interesting, A) because it was so brief, and B) because it was so alien. And also because, more often than not, Xander's the one that ends up grounding people when they go full darkness.

And Nicholas Brendon (who plays Xander) did a good job with it, gotta hand it to him. Since Xander is essentially harmless comic relief, I'm appreciative of seeing an entirely different style of acting coming from him, and honestly, he was the most believable hyena person out of the lot of them.

What did bother me about this episode was that, they didn't really work hard to redeem Xander. This would be one of the most significant flaws of the episode. After Xander publicly humiliates Willow, and tries to sexually assault Buffy, he kinda gets off scot free because, supposedly, he doesn't remember anything that happened while the hyena was possessing him. Spoiler alert: he remembers everything.

He did get some redemption. The very moment he's himself and not a hyena, the first thing he does is attack the guy holding a knife to Willow's throat. I appreciated that. I liked the fact that in spite of the fact that he's on the ground - not a great position to be in no matter how you look at it - and there's this guy painted in tribal paint with a knife who just deliberately got himself possessed by a hyena, Xander leaps at him anyways. Because he's threatening Willow. And that's just unacceptable. I think their friendship's kind of adorable, especially in these first few seasons. Also, does Xander know how to NOT jump blindly into any situation? Don't think so. But, while this kind of resolves the plot between him and Willow, that whole thing between him and Buffy is still kind of a loose end that's never addressed again, which is kind of frustrating.

Especially considering that, much much much later on in the series, when Spike tries to sexually assault Buffy, they turn it into this huge thing. It wakes Spike up to the monster he is, he gets his soul because of that incident, and interestingly enough, no one reacts stronger to this than Xander. Take from that what you will, although that probably also has something to do with when Xander was nearly raped and killed by a psychotic Faith.

But my point is that in season 6 when it happens, it's properly addressed as the horrific thing that it is. In this episode, Xander's never redeemed, and the audience is supposed to just kind of forget about it and continue on as if nothing happened. There are a few reasons for this, I think: A) the first few seasons of Buffy were highly... fantastical. Everything was a metaphor for something else, and the villains were all monsters who were clearly monsters and totally unambiguous in their evilness and so were easily slain. In season 6, the entire season is about the pain of living in real life, or as close to real life as a show about vampires can be. So when it happens then, there's no metaphor or layers to look at, it's all right there, and it's awful and painful to watch and we hate it. B) Xander was under the influence of a demon, and so more easily forgiven. Spike was Spike, under the influence of nothing save a few drinks maybe, no more (or less) evil than he has been since the beginning, the exact same Spike who we grew to love through the seasons, and so there was no one else to blame. But what people seem to overlook is that Xander did it because of the pre-existing feelings he had towards Buffy. The hyena was in control, but it was running on fuel that was already there. Now, I still am reluctant to blame Xander, because we all know that he would never ever under any circumstances do that if he were the one in control, and I don't think the fact that he had feelings of lust is a horrible thing, since it's natural and pretty much uncontrollable, especially in a teenage boy. I'm just saying that it didn't come from nowhere. Which, don't get me wrong, there is no one who loves Xander more than I do, but he's in no way totally innocent. Especially since, and here we come back to my point, he never actually apologizes, even. That is what ultimately irritates me about this whole thing, is that it never gets addressed, not even in a simple, "About what happened..." kind of way.

And yet... I still like this episode.

I appreciated the fact that it was so daring with its subject matter. Not a whole lot of shows would be willing to get into sexual assault in the sixth episode of the series. And also the cannabalism. Eating the principal.

Which, I mean, yeah, that's gross, but more importantly, wow, I was scared. Up 'til then the issue hadn't been much more than, "Hey, look, the jerks who are known for acting like jerks are acting like jerks," so it was necessary for them to raise the stakes. And eating the principal accomplished that. Like, did it ever. Brr, shivers. It's not just scary in the subject matter, it's jarring, because here was Principal Flutie, this recurring character who didn't do very much except try a little too hard to relate with the students, and now he won't be recurring anymore. Farewell, Flutie, we hardly knew ye. Also, this marks the entrance of Principal Snyder, who I personally cannot wait to start despising again.

Interestingly, I found that as I researched this episode a little bit, it turns out that this episode had been completely rewritten before they shot it. The original shooting script is just about unrecognizable from the actual episode. And it kinda shows in some subtle, but noticeable things. For instance, Mr. Zookeeper Guy talks about the hyenas calling people's names in order to lure them out. In the episode, they use this as an, "Okay, there's something Hellmouth-y going on here" and not much else, but in the actual shooting script, they really use it. Lots of eerie calling of names is written in there to connect it to the initial spiel. It happens once in the actual episode, and that's more of a taunt than a mystical luring thingy.

What they do use, however, is the hyena laughter. Which works for me. Brr, creepy. Also the foreboding african drums helped.

What else.... oh yes! Giles gets knocked out in this episode. This is the first in a long line of times Giles gets  knocked out. As Cordelia once put it:

Cordelia: How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these times you're going to wake up in a coma. 

Giles: Wake up in a....? Oh nevermind.

Also, at the end. Xander claims he doesn't remember anything he did when he was a hyena, and asks if he did anything else "embarrassing" besides eat a live pig. Buffy chooses not to get into the whole sexual assault thing, and they part ways, off to class. Giles approaches Xander, and...

Giles: I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards.

Xander: Did you tell them that?

Giles: Your secret dies with me.

Xander: Shoot me, stuff me, mount me. 

First of all, let's just forget about the fact that they're deliberately ignoring kind of an important issue here, 'cause I've ranted about that enough.  Secondly, I'm still not sure I understand that last comment. I mean, I get it, like the context and what it therefore probably means, but still.

Thirdly, I read that exchange completely differently on the rewatch. The first time I watched it I could not, for the life of me, understand Giles's intentions here. Is he just throwing Xander a bone? Holding something over his head? I mean, these are two characters who are both on the show from the beginning and with it to the end, and yet they never have a really defined relationship. Giles is Buffy's father (figuratively speaking), Willow's magic mentor, and any number of other things to the other characters, but Xander? Xander, who is not an intellectual, who has little to no knowledge of the supernatural, who does not have super powers of any kind and never gains any, who is constantly making jokes about demons and evil that should probably be taken kinda seriously, you can see how there might not be so much of a connection.

Which is why I still couldn't figure out what Giles meant by this exchange when it happened even on the rewatch UNTIL the camera cut back to Giles for a second, and he was wearing this expression.

And suddenly I went "Oh, this IS a fatherly thing!" Which sort of makes it a little better because, the only way I read this, Giles is making a conscious decision to not condemn Xander. The only reason Giles would ever make this decision is because he believes that the things Xander did while being inhabited by a demon are not his fault. It's been shown time and time again that if Xander does something particularly idiotic, Giles has absolutely no problem telling him so in the most venomous tone he can muster, which, by the way, is pretty friggin' venomous. So the fact that he doesn't, in spite of all the number of horrible things Xander did while he was a hyena says to me that Giles doesn't want to put him in a position where he's held responsible for things a demon did, and more importantly to me, that he does see Xander in the same way he sees the other Scoobies - he... legitimately cares about him. This is exciting for me, because there is not a huge pile of evidence that suggests that Giles thinks of Xander as anything more than an obligatory nuisance, and it makes me extremely happy to see something that says otherwise. 

Amazing what we can glean from about three seconds of screen time of one facial expression. 

I still think they dealt with the assault rather badly, but at the very least, I now see the purpose of their decision to just kind of leave it be. 

Can I talk about how much Cordelia was NOT in this episode? Because the episode was literally about bitchiness. HOW WAS SHE NOT THE STAR. I mean, sure, Cordelia's brand of being a jerk is a hundred times subtler, if a hundred times more biting, but STILL. Also, Cordelia's just great, in general, and I miss her when she's not there.

Also, Willow grows some balls. Figuratively. Basically, hyena-possessed Xander is trying to essentially sweet-talk Willow into letting him out of the book cage (which comes in quite handy on this show - it's where they later put Oz when he changes into a wolf during the full moon). Then, as he sweet talks her, he makes this sudden vicious grab for her, which she steps out of the way of just in time.

Xander: If I'm so dangerous, why'd she leave you alone with me?

Willow: 'Cause I asked her to. 

Xander: Why?

Willow: 'Cause I know you better than she does... and I wanted to be here to see if.... you were still you.

Xander: You know I am. Look at me. Look. 

Willow: Xander...

(Xander makes his vicious grab that she dodges)

Willow: Now I know. 

OH SNAP

Now, I gotta say. This was a scene that I think was better in the pre-rewritten version. In the version that they shot and was aired, Xander just freaks out and starts screaming at her to let him out. Which, yeah, okay, that's decidedly not Xander, which is shivers-y. But in the original shooting script, he becomes a lot more sly, and a lot more cruel, which is in turn a lot more interesting. To me, anyhow. 

That's all I've got for you today. Until next time, friends. 

Buffy on a Rewatch: Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (S1E05)

Okay, this one'll be short for sure. Like, for sure. Mostly because this episode was pretty forgettable. Sorry Whedon, it has to be said.

I don't know what it is about it, because there are some good sequences. For some reason, although I'm all for a strong female heroine who is simultaneously allowed to be feminine, I just don't like watching Buffy fawn all over a guy who may or may not be interested. Or, maybe that's not the issue. I don't mind Buffy having a crush. I guess the problem was A) that this crush had never been set up (and is never referred to again), and B) that it became less about the guy himself and more about what he represented; normalcy. Which, I understand the thematic significance of that, it's just less interesting to me to watch someone chase someone for their normalcy rather than for who they actually are as a person.

Summed up: Buffy has a crush on quiet, broody hunk (sound familiar? She's got a pattern) Owen. She manages to get a date with him, which is as badly timed as it could possibly be because whoops, there's this Anointed One prophesied to show up tonight to help the Master. They don't find him, so Buffy finds Owen, who is dancing with Cordelia at the Bronze. Buffy gets butthurt, then after a conversation with him, she realizes that he's not at all interested in Cordelia, really, so they set up another date. Except, hey, this time the Anointed One's ACTUALLY going to show, says Giles. Promise this time. Cross my heart. But Buffy's fed up and goes with Owen nonetheless, so Giles sets out to find the Anointed One and ends up getting trapped by a bunch of vamps. Buffy goes to rescue him, Owen tags along. Buffy rescues Giles, kills the Anointed One. Owen goes to her the next day thrilled with last night's events. He'd never felt so alive as that time he almost died. So, Buffy rejects him, because he'd get himself in danger if he stuck around with her. Meanwhile, the Master is pleased as punch (fruit-punch, oh I made a clever reference teeheeheeheehee) because hahaha, that vamp Buffy killed wasn't really the Anointed One. The Anointed One is this creepy little child, because as far as horror goes, you can't go wrong with small creepy children.

There are things about this I appreciate, namely the development of Giles and the development of Buffy. Buffy refuses Owen, because it would probably take all of three seconds for Owen to die while Buffy's Slayering. So, symbolically, she refuses normalcy. Which sucks and all, but it's a big step for Buffy. Up 'til that point, she'd been totally obsessed with being as normal as she could possibly be, but that just wasn't gonna work. She couldn't be both the Slayer and the Valley Girl. She's being forced to change. Which, you know, sucks for her and all, but it's great to see it happen nonetheless.

Also, Giles. Giles mentoring Buffy during the slaying. Giles going to the funeral home to find the Anointed One. Giles comforting Buffy about the whole having of the destiny. Giles has some greatness in this episode, but I think the trophy goes to the ending scene, where he tells Buffy that she wasn't the only one with a destiny. He was told when he was ten years old that he was destined to be a Watcher. He doesn't tell her now, but the general theory among fans (and I thought it was canon? I might have made it up) is that it was this push to become a Watcher that made Giles in his youth go so polar opposite; that punk kid Ripper, with the sex, demons and rock 'n roll. In any case, if anyone understands Buffy, it's Giles. If anyone understands running from destiny, it's Giles. Which, to me, is just so sweet.

Also, don't think I don't notice the similarities between Angel and Owen. Because, let's see, dark, mysterious, brooding hunk. Coincidence? I think NOT.

This episode really gets in it with the Scooby love-shape, as well. Willow's into Xander who's into Buffy who's into Owen, and Angel's into Buffy. Huh. When you put it that way, it sounds kinda convoluted. But there's some fun scenes with that, like when Angel encounters Buffy and Owen on their date (spoiler alert: he's kinda jealous). Or when Buffy's asking Willow and Xander what she should wear on their date (yeah, Xander. That's just how friend-zoned he is), and Xander pulls out a large overcoat and flappy-eared hat. 'Cause Xander isn't jealous and trying to sabotage them at all. Also, when Xander meets Owen, he advises him to not touch Buffy. Or dance with her. Or make eye contact. I find that to be fun.

But mostly, it just struck me how very bad Buffy is at covering things up. This is a gag/trait that continues through the seasons. From this episode's :

Owen: Where were you last night?

Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke, and we don't have any clocks in our house, so I didn't know what time it was, or even what day it was...

To season four's:

Riley: So what have you got going on for tonight?

Buffy: Oh, patrolling. 

Riley: Patrolling? 

Buffy: Uh, petroleum. 

Riley: Petroleum? 

Buffy: Uh huh.

Riley: Tonight you have crude oil. 

Buffy: And homework. What about you?


Also, can I just take a moment to appreciate the fact that the first time we see this Anointed One, who is prophesied to lead the Slayer into hell, the first thing we hear him say is, "I went on an airplane!" Funny how such an innocent little child suddenly becomes creepy the moment you take away the toy airplane.

Um... yeah, but that was pretty much it. Not a particularly memorable episode, but in terms of big-picture stuff, we get a "Hey, welcome back to the plot!" for the Big Bad, and we get a big step for Buffy, so it's still important, thematically. I just wish they'd given Willow a little something more to do. I feel like they didn't quite have her figured out yet, so they just kinda kept her quiet for these first bits.

What does the Buffy Virgin have to say about this episode?

Okay. Um, yeah, they're making the vampires talk like that. When they're reading from/quoting prophesies. Which is, admittedly, half of what they do in these first episodes. But it sounds like that because they're reading ancient, scripture-esque prophesies. When you hear them NOT quoting prophesies - like when Darla talks, or when the Master gets his sass on - they're evidently NOT talking like that. This isn't even a matter of me getting defensive about the show. This is just, pay attention. 

Darla: Is this the best you could do?

Other vamp: She's fresh.

Darla: Hardly enough to share.

Vamp: Why didn't you bring your own? 

Darla: I did. 

(Jesse stumbles in, bleeding from the neck)

Jesse: She gave me a hickey!

(Vamp gives Darla a look)

Darla: I got hungry on the way. 

Yeah. It's not all ancient Bible-jargon, clearly. Just when they're, y'know, reading from prophesies. Honestly. 

And yeah, that always kinda bugged me too, about how they only ever make reference to religion as a weapon against the demons. They use crosses and stuff, and holy water if it happens to conveniently be around in little bottles, but nothing about the religion the objects come from, and they make reference to this in season 7, when a new vampire comes out of his grave and, after a weirdly pleasant conversation, goes:

Vamp: Oh my God!

Buffy: Oh your God what?

Vamp: Oh, well, you know, not my God, because I defy him and all of his works, but - does he exist? Is there word on that, by the way?

Buffy: Nothing solid. 

But the thing is, they're not trying to get all religious, and that's why they never do. For all the apocalypses they have on this show, there's no stuff from Revelations anywhere, because they're not making a statement about religion. They just were making a point to show that all the bedtime stories and myths that everyone hears and knows, they're all true. Also, they didn't have to make up an entirely new mythos for the Buffy vamps. So that's why. 

Oh, I should probably mention that for all the forgetability of this episode, it did have one of the main lines that people quote from this show, and that is:

Buffy: (holding up a pager) If the apocalypse comes, beep me.

Also, I know I've said this for like every episode so far, but Cordelia. What a BITCH! Isn't she great? I adore her. The thing is, she isn't a bitch by nature. She's just harshly truthful, ("Tact is just not saying true stuff, I'll pass") and then also happens to have an extremely venomous tongue on her when she wants it, which is all of high school. Keep other people down, remain Queen B, and all that. Honestly, I love her. She's not so much a three dimensional character at this point, but boy does she earn those layers. 

That's what I've got for you. Thanks for dropping by. That's all, folks. 

Buffy on a Rewatch: Teacher's Pet (S1E04)

I know I said that I wouldn't be doing a post on all the episodes I watch as I watch them, and I don't think I will be. Or at least, if I do, they won't all be long.

I just feel like I really need to defend this episode, since there seems to be a general consensus through the fandom that this is one of the worst episodes. And, I mean, fine, it's not wow-worthy or anything, but I can think of worse episodes than this one. Yes, there are bits to it that are seriously flawed, but on the whole, I genuinely enjoy it, and I gon tell you why.

First of all, it's Xander-centric. And while it's nowhere near my favourite Xander-centric episode - oh no, that award can go to The Zeppo, or The Replacement, they're wonderful and fantastic in every way -  I just have a soft spot for the guy. I relate with him on a deep level. So, yeah, that fact by itself automatically means that I'm going to be easier on this episode. Did you really expect an objective, unbiased review? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahaha....

No, but seriously though. When I first watched this, before I was so invested in Xander and the gang, I still was entertained by it. If I had found it to be nearly as bad as everyone says it is, then I probably would have stopped watching the show then and there, and where would I be now?

I'm just going to go ahead and sum it up for y'all. Basically, we meet this wonderful teacher who believes Buffy is more than her delinquent reputation, and our hearts get all warm and fuzzy for a moment. Then whoops, he gets murdered by a mysterious monster. The next day, a substitute teacher by name of Ms. French comes to school, and for some inscrutable reason, all the guys are enthralled with her. It's like, every testosterone based teenager in the school is hot for that particular teacher. Including, of course, Xander. Things are not all what they seem, as we soon realize when Buffy chases a vampire - a supposedly very dangerous vampire, with Freddy Krueger hands, who the Scooby Gang dubbed the intimidating name of "Fork Guy" - long story short, Fork Guy is scared of Ms. French for unknown reasons. Which is super weird. So when Ms. French starts picking out guys in the class to help her with a science fair project, including Xander, the rest of the gang starts getting kind of apprehensive about it. Then, when Buffy tries to warn Xander, he gets defensive and decides rather foolishly that she was just jealous that someone was showing an interest in him. Ms. French invites him to her house. Turns out - yeah, sorry, this part's kinda gross - but, turns out, she's a giant praying mantis who can morph herself into a pretty lady. She preys on young virgin men to, um, fertilize her eggs, and then, as is the habit of the praying mantis, she beheads them after the... fertilizing. Eugh.

Now, I am not blind to all the flaws of this episode. The Monster of the Week, the she-mantis, well, it reeks of plot holes, and all-too-convenient sequences of events, and basically every lazy writing trick that they could pull. The plot for Fork Guy was pretty half-assed, the whole concept for the she-mantis is really creepy - I'm still kinda trying to get over the part where young, explicitly virgin men get raped by giant praying mantises - and, possibly the most irritating part of the whole thing, that cliffhanger at the end has absolutely no payoff or callback ever.

No, I think we can agree that I am not blind to the flaws of this episode. It's just, I have no problem with overlooking them for the sake of the entertainment value of this episode. And I find that to be plenty.

I love the development of Xander in this episode. That daydream at the beginning of the episode was pretty great. Buffy's the damsel in distress, Xander dusts a vamp attacking her, promises to kiss her like she's never been kissed before, then goes onstage and rocks a guitar solo. Fantasy ruined when Buffy wakes him up mid science class to stop him from drooling. When he gets to the Bronze later, he tries to act cool and ends up getting rejected repeatedly in the midst of a few minutes. I feel for the guy, I really do. It's not easy to be in that place. So, yeah, I totally get it when he likes having the right kind of attention put on him by someone who's apparently so desirable to all the right people. And yeah, I totally get it when he blows up at Buffy. I mean, for god's sake, she's wearing Angel's jacket while telling him that his hot-for-teacher teacher is actually a giant bug. It's completely idiotic of him to blow up like he did, I'm neither denying nor doubting that, but nevertheless, I see where it comes from. A lot of it comes from the fact that, just in case this wasn't totally clear before, Xander's quite an emotional creature.

What I find interesting is when it seems like he's finally going to get the thing that would give him status and leverage to all those people, and he ultimately decides not to do it. Because he loves Buffy. Cheesy? Totally. Sweet? Undoubtedly. But of course, by that point he'd been thoroughly roofied, so he passes out and doesn't really get a choice in the matter anyways. But hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

There's also the smaller theme of the influence the teacher had on Buffy. The good one, the one who was murdered before Ms. French took over. He believed in Buffy, and so, since he saw the potential in her to be the brain, she saw the potential in herself as well, and she uses that to find all the information, or "factoids", that led them to rescuing Xander from giant-bug-babe. It's a small thing, but it's there.

Then there's the other theme, a generally mixed message, about virginity. 'Cause they must have had a reason that the she-mantis only targeted virgins. So...... abstinence... leads to death by bug-beast? Hmm.... there is much confusion over the high school=hell metaphor in this instance, but I may have uncovered something, so bear with me.

What if this episode isn't meant to be a PSA about the importance of abstinence? What if it's more about the ridiculous weight teenagers place on virginity, and whether or not you've got it. Xander was especially eager to work with Ms. French because he'd been more or less told by his schoolmates recently that in order to have any kind of status, he'd have to get some "action". So, if he hadn't placed such importance on gettin' dat "action", he would have theoretically been far less vulnerable to the bug-beast, right? (She's actually called the she-mantis, but I like bug-beast because alliteration). I realize it's a stretch, but that seems to make more sense to me than, um, predatory teachers who prey on young virginal men = bad.

What I'm saying is, I don't think the writers care about whether or not teenagers have sex, and that wasn't really the point - I mean, Buffy loses her virginity in grade eleven (though that backlashes pretty badly), and Xander and Willow lose it in grade twelve (not together), so that doesn't seem to be a concern. I think it has more to do with, the writers think that teenagers make the virginity into this huge, undesirable thing, when that isn't what it should be about at all.

This is my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

I still like this episode. We've got some good Xander development, as mentioned. And yeah, okay, the Monster of the Week being a giant bug was pretty goofy as a premise, but there are still parts to the execution of it that creep me out. Like when Ms. French senses Buffy watching her, and turns her head 180 degrees to look at her. That still gives me shivers. Which is good. My thing is, if something makes you feel an emotion, that's good. Apathy is the worst thing you can feel while reading or watching a story. Even if you don't like what you're seeing, I mean, that's better than total indifference.

So anyways.

But that cliffhanger though.

The thing about Buffy is that the continuity is, like, A+. There is rarely a thread left untied. But there is a major thread left majorly untied in this episode, and that is the foreboding ending shot on bug-beast eggs cracking open.

What happens to the baby bug-beasts? No one knows.

Look, as far as actual entertainment value goes, I'm glad they didn't have a follow-up. I can appreciate this episode as a one-shot, but it's a one-shot. It wouldn't be possible to rehash this concept in a way that seemed fresh. The story was played out.

But in terms of the standards we have for Buffy, it's irritating. We may be used to having episodes that have a twist at the very end, or a cliffhanger, or whatever, but it's extremely rare to have an episode that ends like that and not deal with the loose ends at some point, and so therefore it's strange and irritating.

I like that we get some satisfaction at the end of the episode, where the guy who was bugging (pun not intended) Xander all the time about not having sex was also targeted by the she-mantis, and so was therefore also a virgin. That made me grin on behalf of Xander, who wasn't quite in a grinning mood at the time as he hacked the she-mantis eggs to bits and pieces with an ax. Have I mentioned that Xander's quite an emotional creature? By the way, for me this is a throw-forward to when, after Buffy has defeated the Master but is traumatised by the experience, she crushes his bones to smithereens with a hammer. So much pent up rage at the monster that tortured them. Or, in Buffy's case, killed them. I love it.

Also, Willow's adorable.

Willow: (In reference to Xander and the mean kid both being virgins) I don't think it's bad, I think it's really... sweet. And it's certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again. 

I wish Fork Guy had actually been a thing that had gotten more air-time, though. He acts as a plot device to show Ms. French isn't human, and then to lead them against his will to Ms. French, and then Buffy stakes him. Off-screen, no less. Personally, I'd like to have seen that fight. Not that that's the point. I just think they could have done more with Fork Guy. Also, Freddy Krueger vampire is scared of a bug? Kind of a wuss.

Can we please talk about how Buffy knew that Ms. French was a praying mantis?

Buffy: Factoid one, only the praying mantis can rotate its head like that. Factoid two, a pretty whacked-out vampire is scared to death of her. Factoid three, her fashion sense screams predator. 

Willow: It's the shoulder pads. 

Buffy: Exactly. 

Cordelia dealing with her "trauma" is pretty hilarious as well. She starts congratulating herself because she hadn't been able to eat for a while since she saw Dr. Gregory's dead body, and she lost some weight. Then she quickly amends that and says she doesn't think they should kill a teacher everyday so that she loses weight. You have no idea how much I appreciate Cordelia.

I think that's all I've got, so what does the Buffy Virgin say about this episode?

Okay, ignoring the sarcasm about "hysterical and unforeseen tension" between Xander and everyone (it's not about virginity, it's about Xander's general insecurity. Wasn't supposed to be "hysterical") I've thought about this problem with Dr. Gregory a lot (who, admittedly, does resemble Bush), and at first I thought that the mantis simply killed him as a way of getting into the classroom, and therefore having young men to prey on. But that theory went out the window when those goddamn cliffhanger eggs showed up at the end in Dr. Gregory's supplies closet. So, fine, I'll give that one to you. Yeah, lazy writing. This episode's full of it. I appreciate the charm anyways. Chalk it up to Buffy finding its footing.

Boringbeanz=David Boreanaz, who played Angel, just in case that takes some figuring out.

Yes, Angel is quite attractive at this point. Like, to quote Cordelia, "Hello, salty goodness." And, unfortunately enough, this re-enactment of the early Angel scenes are pretty much completely accurate, not gonna lie. I don't like this comment on the show. But it's accurate.

Sidebar: Angel was snarkier and more fun at this point, and I wish they'd kept it that way. Because, knowing how that turns out later, just UGH.

This is all I've got for you today. Thank you for joining me in my attempted defense and also general review of this episode. Bottom line: it's lazy and goofy, but also strangely charming and kind of adorable. I enjoy it. So take that.

Smart Things I Thought Of Saying Long After the Conversation Ended: #1

Yeah, I've decided that this is going to be a thing on this blog now. Because it's ridiculous how often I do this. Mostly this will be for amusement purposes, but for today, it's kind of more of a debate/moral thing, albeit a totally insignificant one.

Today, while driving to school with Laura and Carly and Anna, we were listening to the radio - like you do - and an advertisement comes on with a little child narrating it in an attempt to make us go "Aww, we'd help that adorable child if we bought a thing". It was for McDonalds, and it was saying that on May 7th, go buy a Big Mac or a happy meal or something because a dollar from every purchase of one of those things goes to the Ronald McDonald Houses. Which, you know, great and all, but I was still pretty unimpressed with it (they called it McHappy Day. I mean, come on.) So, I said...

Me: Of course, May 7th is also Teacher Appreciation Day. I think that's a little more important than eating a Big Mac.

Laura: Well, obviously you're completely missing the point of the Ronald McDonald Houses. (begins explaining to me what the Ronald McDonald Houses are, as if I don't already know). I think that trumps the teachers.

What I should have said:

"I know what the Ronald McDonald Houses are, and that's great. All I meant was that McDonalds is getting all this publicity for a one-shot charity thing named after them, on a made-up day, also named after them. Meanwhile, teachers get one appreciation day that no one will even know about when it comes around. And they're arguably some of the most selfless people in our society. I mean, they're educating the people of the next generation, and it's not as if they're doing it for the money. You mean to tell me that McDonalds doesn't profit from everyone buying things from them?"

What I actually said at the time:

".............................."

Yeah. If there's one thing I'm proud of, it's my ability to think on my feet. *sarcasm mode*