[This was written before my post about The Gift or my review thingy of Once More With Feeling, I've just been too lazy to figure out how to finish it. So the "newly gathered information" is actually from like fifteen episodes ago or something. Anyways, just read the thing if you want to and forget this message was even here, 'kay?]
Spike...... is........ twisted.
Delightfully twisted.
Having just watched the episode "Crush" in which Spike admits he has a thing for Buffy, and then Drusilla returns just as that happens, I have to say that while nothing of my previous post has changed, really - all the characteristics still apply - it's important to acknowledge another evident characteristic of Spike.
He's twisted. And evil. And when it comes to being around Buffy he seriously tries not to be, but it really can't be helped.
And when I say twisted, what I mean is.... well, twisted. Not only is he ruthless, but he follows a bizarre (and almost sadistic) reasoning where the more pain he causes (to others or himself) the more respect he can earn (from others or himself). We caught a glimpse of this in "Doomed" (he couldn't hurt people, he tried to stake himself - he could hurt demons, all of a sudden it was "I'm back, and I'm a BLOODY ANIMAL!!") but just not to the same extent. Because you have to realize now that it isn't just a demon ego thing. He does it with the people he loves as well. And that's just........ well, twisted.
And it's interesting, because he's the opposite of what he was pre-vampire. Pre-vampire Spike sought out light and closed his eyes to the darkness. He wrote poetry - and yeah it was bad (effulgent? Really?) - but it's what he did to make himself feel like he was creating something good.
And now Spike is offended and ashamed to be regarded as unthreatening and unmenacing, or in any way remotely good.
And I mean, it's always been that way with Spike. In season 4 he nearly staked himself because he was convinced he was worth nothing when he couldn't hurt people. It's a vampire thing. And it's an ego thing. Vampires are DEMONS, their calling is to cause PAIN. It makes perfect sense.
And Spike is no Angelus - he doesn't engage in all that, what TV Tropes and Idioms calls "Mind Rape" stuff (what Angelus did to Drusilla pre-vampire and Buffy........ to Drusilla to the point where she literally went insane, and she never quite recovered). But he is twisted, have no doubt of that.
But.... I don't think he tries to be, in the same way Angelus did. The thing is, he's been doing evil for so long (he's 126 years old, after all) that every act of restraint, for him, is the same as an act of good. Which is not the same as Scooby Gang good, because they're actively saving the world on a regular basis, so it's difficult for them to appreciate when Spike is trying to help, especially given the fact that he is a demon. No one wants to thank a demon.
What Spike is, is a few things that sometimes combine so that he ends up more twisted than the average vamp. Impulsive, uninhibited (mentally - the chip in his head inhibits him, but if it were his choice he wouldn't shy away from anything), emotional and confused.
Confused?
Yeah, confused.
Because everything about Spike contradicts itself. He has a right to be confused. He's got a thing for the Slayer, first of all, and that's just....... wrong. And he knows it, certainly, but being love's bitch, it's one of those things he can't help. And Buffy believes that no creature with a soul can know love, but Spike loves. He does. "We love well, if not wisely," to quote Drusilla. And he's a vampire who's trying to be good, and there's all this contradiction about him that he can't really find a course of action that makes sense to him.
This is kind of what makes Spike Angelus's counterpart. Angelus wasn't impulsive. He thought everything he did through. He believed it's what separated vampires from animals, is to be very DELIBERATE and very CAREFUL about your actions. Spike, meanwhile, was perfectly happy to follow his impulses and have what to Spike was probably just a good time. Angelus was never emotional. Just cold. I'm not saying he didn't have emotions, he did, but he didn't show them. Self-discipline, right? Separates them from the animals. Meanwhile, Spike's always been emotional. That's just how he is. Always has been, right from the beginning, and that hasn't changed. I'm not saying he's always crying or whatever, but he just wears his heart on his sleeve.
Anyways - Impulsive, uninhibited, emotional and confused.
And confusion plays a large role in this because, if we look back, Spike's always been at his most dangerous when he's in some way confused (remember, season 3, drunken Spike kidnapped Willow and Xander? "Well, if at first you don't succeed..... I'll kill him, and you try again."?) That's where being emotional comes in. Because Spike's so emotional, he can't just handle his confusion internally, it ALWAYS comes out in his actions. And since he's so impulsive and uninhibited, his confusion comes out in his actions usually to some of the most drastic extremes. Like, for instance (SPOILER ALERT) threatening to kill Drusilla. And sadly enough, he couldn't bring himself to follow through on either of his threats - he couldn't kill Drusilla or Buffy. And it wasn't the chip that was getting in his way. It was his own - forgive me, Spike - humanity.
God, Spike's just..... a heart-wrencher. I mean, yeah he almost killed Buffy (and he almost killed Drusilla, which was just as, if not more, upsetting to me) but you still come away from that episode going "Poor Spike". Because... we understand Spike's confusion, I think. And maybe I just have a soft spot for Spike - the character's freakin' awesome - but I think we're able to forgive him for his.... yeah, undeniably twisted actions. Because we do understand him, at least a little bit.
I read somewhere that some people were..... sickened... when they found out that Spike's iconic leather jacket came from the body of a Slayer he'd killed. I mean, I get that, to a certain degree. But Spike's always been like that. He got off on killing Slayers, that's been established literally since the first episode he appeared in. ("Well, I don't like to brag... oh, who am I kidding, I love to brag!") And it shows his pride and arrogance that he kept the jacket. No, Spike's not just a fluffy puppy with bad teeth, guys. Some of the Scoobies seem to be convinced, but no, he's not. No matter what gadgetry the Initiative put in his head, Spike's always been, and always will be, dangerous. It's part of what makes him so damn cool. I almost think taking the jacket off the Slayer was one of the least twisted things he's done as a vampire. I mean, other killers steal from their victims after they kill them as well. That doesn't make Spike special in any way. Why do you expect him to be remorseful? Has he ever been remorseful? No, never. He's got no soul, so why would he be? I guess that I'm just thinking that at least part of your being so sickened by the jacket's origins comes from your surprise, and it really shouldn't be surprising. I mean, when I saw it, I just thought "Huh. It was a Slayer's. No kidding." It's a trophy. Spike takes pride in his accomplishments (killing a Slayer is an accomplishment for any vampire), so he likes to have a trophy. Yeah, it's dark and completely in bad taste. But Spike has never claimed to be anything BUT bad (in fact he's really defensive about that. Hilariously so. Dawn: I feel safe with you. Spike: *chokes on his drink* Take that back!). So I'm not sure why this should be such a shock.
I guess all that I'm saying is that, yes, Spike is now trying to be good, for Buffy's sake. But it's foolish for anyone to forget that he is a demon in origin, a monster, and he is inherently evil. (Need I remind you that one of the only reasons he's fighting demons now is because it's the only thing he CAN fight?) It's in his nature. What makes him remarkable is the contrast between the monster and the man inside of him. THAT'S what makes him particularly twisted.
Spike is by far the most interesting character on the show.
Just sayin'.
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